Zoe & Sophia Need Your Advice on Their Adventures as the Sublime Consumers of the Lightness of Being

December 29th, 2009

December 29th
Do you have advice to offer two single women whose lives are suddenly crashing in chaos? Zoe and Sophia, BFFs for thirty years,  find themselves unexpectedly cast into the world of re-creation and redefinition after decades of being faithful wives to George and Marty. They need advice from anyone willing to offer it. For instance, what advice would you give your BFF if her NOSE WAS A CRUSTY, RED MESS FROM CRYING SO MUCH? Any advice you can give to Sophia would be helpful, but this is the advice Zoe gave her.

Zoe squinted and craned her neck as she looked at Sophia.  Sophia’s sad eyes gazed back at her. Finally, Zoe said, “What’s wrong?”
Sophia sobbed, “I just hurt inside, and I’m so angry at Marty for betraying me.”
Zoe stood back examining Sophia before saying, “I meant–what’s wrong with your nose? Do something with it. You have to look fabulous in an hour for tonight’s party in Boston-the one at the recording studio–remember?”
“Oh, fuck, we need to get ready,”  said Sophia, lured momentarily from her misery.

Zoe and Sophia attracted a lot of attention when they went places together. They spawned an alluring confidence and sensual energy. Somehow, they’d managed to retain (or regain after appalling marriages to their cheating, pathetic, deadbeat not-quite-ex-husbands) slender figures, good breasts, blond hair, smooth skin, firm legs, and fairly flat tummies. Fortunately for them, they were born with pretty eyes. They actually did look at least ten years younger than their ages. More importantly, they had tucked in their incredible brains and hearts years of nurturing others, loving well, making love well, raising amazing children and earning good money. Okay, let’s face it–men told them they were hot–but that expression was just a little too crass for their tastes.

“I’ll shower first,” said Zoe, as Sophia began to cry once again.  After a few minutes she called out to Sophia that the shower was free.  Zoe toweled off as Sophia stripped off her clothes and took a very short shower.   Soon they were ready to begin their transformations together.

In lacy panties and bras, they stood in front of the full-length bathroom mirror applying sweet smelling lotion to their long legs, torsos and bottoms. Next they applied expensive moisturizers to their faces, necks and chests.  With skin sufficiently succulent, they added leave-in substances to their hair and blow dried.  Zoe used a curling iron afterwards, and Sophia a straightening iron.  Finally, they artfully made up their eyes and were ready to dress in dress in skinny jeans and cute tops from The Loft.

Transformation complete, they stood looking at each other in the mirror.  And at that moment, instead of filling with excitement at the prospect of a night out with a bunch of cool music people in Boston, Sophia resumed the thread of most of her thoughts these days and wailed, “Why did Marty have to wait until I was in my 50s to have an affair?”

Zoe shook her head and shrugged, threw Sophia a sympathetic look, and then slipped past her friend, as she headed to the door to go warm up the car.


Abruptly Zoe halted and turned to study Sophia’s nose.  The crustiness looked painful.  Finally she said, “SOPHIE, WHEN YOU ARE SAD BECAUSE YOUR HEART IS BROKEN, DON’T STOP CRYING–JUST BUY A BETTER BRAND OF TISSUE.”
“Why didn’t I think of that?” said Sophia, as she started to follow her out the door.

“Hey, Zo—was that a Buddhist thing you just said?”
“Sounds like.”

Beyonce and Jay-Z’s hip hop cranked inside the car on that frigid November night. Snow flurries didn’t perturb the women as they roared out of Exeter, NH, headed for Boston. The two intense, single, fifty-something BFFs were off on their first marvelous adventure as the Sublime Consumers of the Lightness of Being.

To be continued….But PLEASE, help them with YOUR advice.

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  1. Nicholas Thorndyke
    December 29th, 2009 at 18:47 | #1

    Hi, I’m Nick, I would like to be in your story as the painter from Vermont. Or Nicholas Ver Monte, as they would have called me during the Renaissance. I am gentle spirited but passionate about certain things, if you know what I mean. I have felt the pain that Zoe and Sophia have felt from soured marriages demonstrating that this pain has no real gender bias.

  2. December 29th, 2009 at 19:21 | #2

    Hi, Nick.
    Putting you into the story will be my pleasure, if you know what I mean.

  3. Barry
    December 30th, 2009 at 23:25 | #3

    Marty must be blind!

  4. December 31st, 2009 at 07:32 | #4

    Marty is not only blind. He is really really dumb. Thanks, Barry.

  5. Maizy
    December 31st, 2009 at 07:44 | #5

    Oh Zo and Soph you are wild woman

  6. December 31st, 2009 at 12:47 | #6

    Thanks, Maizy. Tell everyone you know to help Zoe & Sophia with their advice. These two crazy, hazy ladies would love to hear from everyone, and let’s face it….they need all the help they can get!

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