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Zoe & Sophia Enjoy a “Sleepy” Webcam Morning and Rethink Dancing for An Interstate Audience

January 11th, 2010 11 comments

January 11th 2010

Thank you for the WONDERFUL ADVICE you’ve offered the two single women, whose lives are suddenly crashing in chaos! Zoe and Sophia, BFFs for thirty years, find themselves unexpectedly cast into the world of re-creation and redefinition after decades of being faithful wives to George and Marty. They need advice from anyone willing to be so generous. For instance, what advice would you give your BFF as she cried, “I CAN’T SEEM TO PLEASE ANYONE–WHAT DO I DO?”Any advice you can give to Zoe would be helpful, but this is what Sophia said.

Just before dawn broke on a Sunday morning in early January, Zoe awoke to the second day of solid snowfall. The last thing she remembered before going to sleep was lying in bed with her laptop on her stomach watching “Nurse Betty.” Sophia was lying next to her engaged in a text war with her soon-to-be-ex Marty. But when Zoe looked to her left, all she saw was her laptop lying where Sophia had been. Sparky, Zoe’s incontinent stoke-victim yellow Lab, was asleep on his pad on the floor, surrounded by sizable turds his bottom had purged involuntarily during the night. Just as every other morning, Zoe knew the moment she stirred, she would have to race Sparky to the back door and get him outside before his bladder let loose in a steady stream all over the floor. Silently she counted “one, two, three…GO.” Zoe grabbed Sparky’s collar and made a mad dash through the kitchen, then pulled open the door and shoved him gently through it.

What Zoe didn’t know was that Sophia was sitting outside the door doing a Buddhist meditation. The train wreck which followed occurred when Sparky tried to go up and over Sophia to relieve himself. He knocked Sophia out of her proper meditation posture, and she lay sideways with her legs still akimbo and her face smashed into the yellowed snow. Because it was not yet light, Zoe didn’t see Sophia, so she tripped over her and landed face down in the white powder, barely missing poor Sparky. Zoe pulled herself into a crouching position and squeezed Sparky’s mid-section, helping the dog express the last of his urine. Throughout, Sophia remained, like a wooden Buddha, lying cross-legged on her side.

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