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Zoe & Sophia Flee to Naples, Florida and Enjoy Sexy Fun in the Sun as the Sublime Consumers of the Lightness of Being

January 20th, 2010 2 comments

January 20th

Please send your ADVICE to two single women, whose lives are suddenly crashing in chaos! Zoe and Sophia, BFFs for thirty years, find themselves unexpectedly cast into the world of re-creation and redefinition after decades of being faithful wives to George and Marty. They need advice from anyone willing to help them. For instance, what advice would you give your BFF if she asked, “WHY HAVEN’T I LOST MY MIND ONCE SINCE WE LEFT NEW HAMPSHIRE?” Any advice you can give to Zoe would be helpful, but this is what Sophia said.

At 5:50 a.m. Sophia stood in the shower, her body lathered in soap and her hair full of Caviar Conditioner-the crème of hair products for “blond” women over forty.  The shower where she stood was in a hotel near the Manchester Airport. In exactly forty minutes, she and Zoe were due in the lobby to catch the shuttle to their terminal. Sophia’s mind was filled with the sublime lightness of being, knowing that in a few hours, she and Zoe would be lying in the sun that hovered over Naples, Florida. Zoe showered first and stood outside the bathroom rubbing her body with lotion and preparing to blow dry her hair. She looked at the pathetic hotel hairdryer, rejected it, and plugged in her own mammoth contraption. And that decision was how she plunged Sophia into darkness, leaving her flailing about with soap and “Caviar” in her eyes.
“Zoe,” Sophia cried, “Lights, Zoe.”
“Blew the fuse,” yelled Zoe through the door. “Can’t see a thing out here.”
“Fuck sake, call the front desk.”

Sophia was not especially coordinated in broad daylight, but she was lucky not to kill herself, blindly searching for a towel, which she couldn’t find because Zoe had used all four of them and then slung them across a chair, far from the darkened shower room. Shivering and dripping, Sophia felt her way out of the dangerous zone of porcelain surfaces. Thinking she could safely walk, by remembering where the beds were in relation to the furniture, she launched on her journey to find a towel. What she didn’t know was that Zoe had left open luggage in Sophia’s pathway, causing Sophia to trip, skid across the carpet, and hit her head on the table leg, just before Zoe opened the door to the maintenance man. Within seconds, Maintenance Man dazzled the room with light and discovered Sophia, naked and wet, lying on the floor, nursing carpet burns and a bumped head, and balling like a baby.
“Fuck sake, Zoe, get me a towel.”
Zoe turned to smile at the maintenance man then took her sweet time sashaying across the room, stepping over Sophia, and finally flinging a wet towel to her friend. The man neither moved a muscle nor uttered a word. Only when Sophia glared and hissed at him, did he snap out of his catatonic state and hastily back out of the room.

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